Moment of Panic: Take 1

I think it best to start from the beginning, which is probably the moment that I looked out the plane window, saw the Midwest (actually, I think we were probably somewhere over Alberta) slipping away beneath me, and panicked...

3:41 pm, 25 July 2009

I just had my first moment of panic. I know, only 3 hours in to a 13 hour flight. I haven't even seen an ocean yet. Lame. But it came out of nowhere. I glanced out the window at shades of green and yellow forming geometric patterns that an alien race is probably overanalyzing from space. It was spacious, peaceful, familiar...

Then I glanced at the in-flight info screen. #*%$! It was covered in what I can only assume to be Japanese. That's when it happened. A semi truck with a big WTF on the grill slammed into my face.

What am I doing?! I am leaving this all behind. I am going to have a real job with real coworkers that I really can't speak to, and I am going to be responsible for doing things, real things. Like planning lessons and running clubs and who knows what else! I certainly won't know because I can't speak Japanese and apparently no one will tell you what their expectations are because you are a big dumb scary foreigner. (!!!) Thanks Chicago orientation for making me feel so much better.

Maybe for some people is it the, "Oh my God, I'm living in a foreign country alone!" thing. It's not really the alone thing for me. Actually, it is not at all the alone thing. It's mostly the Japan thing. I'm going to make a couple of sweeping generalizations here and say that in Poland, people are reticent and cynical in a way that is somehow extraordinarily comforting. In Argentina, at least in Buenos Aires, everything is a disaster, a quilombo. But then, you have expected that and worn your shiny fuschia heels just out of spite. In Japan... Well, the Japanese... I have no idea! I don't even know any Japanese people! Okay, I have probably met at least 5 Japanese people; let's go crazy, and say that in my entire life I have met 10 Japanese people. So? I've got nothing. I have no idea what I am getting myself into, which would be okay if I was just moving to Japan for kicks and giggles, but actually having responsibilities? :S

30 seconds later... I've escaped the WTF truck with only a faint imprint left on my forehead. It's going to be okay.