What's up?

I am starting a revolution... one wannabe punk-ass junior high school student at a time. Somewhere along the line it was decided amongst the English teachers in Japan that there is only one appropriate greeting. It goes as follows:

A-san: Hello.
B-san: Hello.
A-san: How are you?
B-san: I'm fine, thank you. And you?
A-san: I'm fine, thank you.

Three months in and 1,700 students later... I am starting a revolution, the "What's up?" Revolution, because there are only so many times you can hear "I'mfinesankyouandyou!" before the crazy hits the fan. I'm starting slowly. Just a few of the pierced eared, fashion mulleted, disenfranchised Michael Jackson dancing 15 yr. old boys first. I try to convert 3 new ones a week.

Last week I had particular success with Nonsense Shouter-san. He was one who not only slept in class, but he even managed to ignore my perfectly calibrated hallway salutations (2 parts obnoxiously genki, 3 parts "Oh yes, it's true. I am WAAAY cooler than you are.", and 1 part Minnesota Nice). I couldn't even get past a "How are you?" before he would start yelling nonsense and quickly retreat to the safety of his fellow hoodlums.

Then, one regular afternoon as I passed him and two of my revolutionaries on the staircase, I saw my chance. I ignored him, turning to his friends instead, because there is no better motivator than feeling like you are out of the loop. "What's up?", I said and gave them my best gangsta shrug. They were paralyzed by fear for a moment before realizing that they knew the answer and that the answer was COOL. "Not much!" they shouted (they always shout) before making valiant attempts at gangsta shrugs while their hair danced in the breeze 5 inches above their heads. Nonsense-san looked confused, desperate. He looked at his friends. He looked at me, his head cocked at the universal "What???" angle.

I had him.

I explained, using my best gangsta shoulder shrug again, that "How are you?" is, well, ma-ma (so-so). But "What's up?".... cooool. "Ahhhh," he nodded, "Not much!"

...several hours later...

I accost Nonsense-san in the hallway, and as he begins to shout nonsense, I give him a LOOK and repeat myself. "What's up?" *gangsta shrug* He pauses for a half second, thinking. And in that half second I remembered that these moments are the reason people teach. He was interested. He was interested in speaking English. I could see the neurons connecting as he searched for the answer he knew he had... "ehhhh tohhhh.... NOT MUCH!!" And he gave me a smile like he had just discovered The Secret, which, I guess, he had.

I caught him explaining "What's up?" "Not much." to a friend the other day, complete with gangsta shrug. If I teach him nothing else, it is enough.